Sunday, June 12, 2011

One new addition to God's big family

Hi, everyone who still reads my blog. ♥

I went through confession and was baptized yesterday. I've got to say, confession was pretty difficult for me to go through. If I could have picked a choice, I would never want to confess through my mouth. I never thought I would have to utter the deepest, darkest secrets of mine aloud and I didn't know how to speak out loud of certain sins I've done...not until yesterday.

When the priest asked me if I had any other sin which I would like to confess more specifically besides disobeying The Ten Commandments, I remained silent for a really long time. I honestly had the strongest urge to just run out and put it off 'till one day when I can actually face up to my sins, but I couldn't. Then, when the priest realized I wasn't going to speak out loud, he said I had to say my sins out loud because if I do not confess my sins through mouth, they would never come into light and remain in darkness, and they would continue to weigh on me. I was terrified of what would the priest think of me and extremely ashamed of my sins. There was a war going on in my mind. I spoke of my sins so soft even I could not hear myself. The priest then reassured me that all would be kept confidential and never spoken of again and emphasized on the fact that I was confessing to God. So, I began to spoke louder but I was stammering badly. My utterances were quite incoherent and also kept vague but I believe the mere sentences spoke volumes of what I was trying to convey.

Despite the fact that confession was really hard for me, I actually felt relieved after it; I felt lighter of burden and a lot less constricted of guilt. Oh, the wonders. :)

I am now anticipating to be confirmed as one of God's big family next Sunday. Heh.