Monday, August 22, 2011

I am haunted

Hi. Honestly speaking, I've been putting a lot of thoughts into coming back to blogging because I feel like I don't have a life and my blog (in the past) was the only thing going for me that made me feel (sort of) alive. I suppose you could say I am an extremely fickle-minded person. One moment, I want to start blogging, but the next, I just can't be bothered and think it's an entirely bad idea.

One of the many reasons I quit blogging in the first place was because I couldn't voice out and blog as I desired without bringing problems to someone who was once dear to me. There are readers who aren't supposed to read my blog for my blog portrays my innermost thoughts at certain times. I didn't want to trouble 'that friend of mine' just for my selfish reasons and outlet so I just stopped blogging altogether to sort of protect 'that friend of mine'. If you're wondering why am I back to blogging again, then I will just be straight-up with you. As much as I would love to seem mysterious to most and I would flat out deny it if you spew the fact at me, I love attention. I am an attention whore and it is kind of hard for me to just keep everything inside of me. Each time I do, I feel like I am a ticking bomb, waiting to explode and combust into flames. I can't keep everything pent-up and if/when I do, you know something's up with me because it just isn't me.

Anyhow, after much consideration (*scoff* even though hardly), I have decided to come back to blogging again. I know I am not remotely interesting and my blog is just plain depressing most of the time, but I won't apologize for any of that because you know my name, you know my blog stories, but you have no clue at all about me. (What I am about to say next, you may just ignore my nonsense, lol.) I am a complex within a complex and nobody can decipher me.

So, yes, bottom line is I am back! And I will bring myself to a halt here, else I'd just never cease, lol. Bring out the marching band and the parade and the confetti to commemorate, people! Oh and fireworks, what's not to love about fireworks right?


  1. wow, so nobody can decipher you?? You don't have me fool for a minute, dear.What am I talking about?? Well, i know that most men fall for this 'I'm beautiful and aloof and I get my way' part of your personality... but I know something about you that no one who's only read your post for 5 minutes has EVER known... ... You may act tough, but you're actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn't bother you... but you'll think about it all the way home... I know that secretly you're as sensitive as a little girl... it's just that most people never get to meet that part of you...

  2. Hi, Gummy. Am I supposed to feel impressed by your perception? Everything you mentioned was quite contradictory if you ask me. How well do you exactly know me? Okay, let me rephrase, do you even personally know me? Should I be giving you a round of applause for knowing that I am actually sensitive on the inside? Perhaps you could be right, but don't you reckon it all just goes to show that beneath my nonchalant exterior, I'm still human? People never get to meet the part of me that is fragile and vulnerable is probably because they don't matter enough and it is also called protecting myself, for your 411. Am I supposed to wear my heart on my sleeve and my thoughts on my face, even after the times I got burned? For every brick that creates the wall around my heart, has a reason, has a story to tell. If you claim to know me so well, you ought to know that I am not at all aloof. If I have anything to say, I just lay it on the line and come out with it.

    Oh and I suppose you didn't read properly, I did mention to ignore my nonsense. I didn't even mean what I said.