Sunday, October 30, 2011

Bad day

Days like this, I just want to crawl into bed and cry my heart out under the comfort of my duvet.

I took up a part-time job as a beauty advisor cum sales girl at the Chanel counter inside Parkson departmental store a few months back, but I only recently started this month because working hours clashed with my classes beforehand. It is only the beginning and I already want out of everything which just goes to show how weak and pathetic I really am.

When I make a mistake or when pressure is right up in my face, I elude and run instead of facing 'em. I can't bring myself to deal with stress. People feel the need to conquer and overcome, but I don't - I feel the desperate need to escape.

This part-time job makes me feel like I am pathetically useless and I hate it. I hate feeling inadequate. Like, I am never good enough. This feeling is awfully haunting. I have been able to inearth it, but it is bubbling to the surface again. I felt this way when I was doing A-levels and I quit. Instead of pulling up my socks and trying to pull through, I just flat out dropped out.

I am best at letting people down and making empty promises. I know, but I never seem to learn. What exactly is wrong with me?


  1. hey babe, cheer up =) there is nth wrong with you and I felt the same too, I felt that Monash is hard to cope and I switch to Taylor's but is the same now ;/ I felt like I had made the worst decision ever thinking that Taylor's will be much easier, I did not face the problem I had in Monash, instead I run away from it and went to another place which I equally dislike, so I guess is normal for you to feel like that, cos I absolutely feel the same too ;/

  2. Thank you, Evelyn! You're a sweety. I hope you can cope with Taylor's now. Try hard! :)

  3. Hey sweetie! As time goes by, you'll adapt to the new environment slowly! I felt like giving up my internship after my first week of work, but now it's surprising that I'm actually enjoying going to work (although I still prefer to stay at home laze in bed and do nothing at all), but work isn't that bad anymore! All the best babe, you'll do well no worries!

    & it's normal being an escapist, I don't believe there's actually people who never thought of escaping whenever they encounter problems in their daily lives! ;)

  4. Hi, Jasmine! Glad to know that you're adapting well with your work and much thanks! I'll try to get accustomed to working. :)