I wanted you

The ghost of my past came knocking on my door.

No, I thought. I would ignore it's faint knocking on my door until it goes away.



I am not ready to welcome you back into my life, into my mind, into my heart and soul.

You were a part of me, you were a part of my heart, merged with my soul and when you abruptly went away, a part of my soul ripped away with you. I can still feel the rough uneven edges of the torn away, of the space that once held a part of you - if I let myself venture into the underbelly of the past.

I was intoxicated, inebriated with your love and now, I am hung-over.

I knew what I was in for, I knew the aftermath and the longing for more I had to endure once I've had a taste of you, once I tipped you into my mouth and let you slither down my throat and infuse into every single part of my body, into my guts and groin, into my very bones.

But I wanted you then, I wanted you now, I wanted all of you. I wanted to bask in all your glory, in all your mighty finesse and most importantly, I wanted to revel in your love.

 


I slouched with my back against the wooden door, knowing you were right on the other side; I waited until I was sure you left and it's only then I allowed the throaty sob to escape from my quivering body.