Saturday, June 28, 2014

Putting my ass where my heart wants to be

I had an epiphany. Or rather, I recently read a blog that was a slap to my face, sending me back to reality. 

In the blog, it wrote, "If you want to be a runner, get your ass outside and run. If you want to be healthier, get your ass to the grocery store and eat some fucking vegetables. If you want to be a writer, put your ass in the chair and write. 

In other words: SHOW UP. 

Stop talking about how much you want something, and just start showing up. Let your actions do the talking. 

Stop planning, stop researching, stop trying to decide on the "best" next step and just do something. Do anything. 

The thing you do might be crap to start with. Guess what? Sometimes you have to move through a lot of crap to get to the good stuff. But guess what else? Every crap sentence you write and every crap you run you have gets deposited into your sweat equity account, and eventually you'll be able to make some ridiculously fantastic withdrawals. Eventually, you'll write something you're proud of and excited about. Eventually, if you keep going, if you keep showing up, you'll be able to run faster and farther than you ever imagined." 

I honestly needed this. I needed this to remind me to stop dawdling, or waiting for something to miraculously happen because nothing WILL happen if I put no effort or action into it. 

I say that I love writing, I say that my dream is to be a writer, to get a book deal and be a published author, but honestly, none of my actions ever accounted or indicated that I am working towards what I call my "dreams" or aspirations. 

I believe that my biggest barrier and hindrance is my lack of courage, my fear of the unknown. I am always too terrified to take the first step to anything worth striving for, anything that is truly meaningful to me. 

I fell in love with writing and words when I started blogging, and I wasn't always a good writer. In fact, I think I was terrible at it. I am still shit at writing, to be honest. Or at least that's how I perceive myself to be when I read other people's blogs or work; I'm intimidated by how people are able to string words seemingly so simple together to construct a mellifluous sentence that moves the human core. I think...well, how am I ever going to compete with that? I will never be on par, I will always be substandard so I never mustered the courage to try.

However, I stumbled upon this blog and read the first (or latest) post I saw on the page/blog and it's so...encouraging. So motivating. It served as a great reminder to me that everybody has to start somewhere and even though my initial attempts will be feeble, or as the author of the blog stated, "sometimes you have to get through a lot of crap to get to the good stuff", I have to start somewhere. It isn't the end results I should be looking at, it is the process. I'm bound to make it somewhere someday, right? And even if I don't, at least I've made the conscious effort in working towards the achievement of my dreams. 

The blog also mentioned a quote by Steven Pressfield, "put your ass where your heart wants to be" ...and if my heart wants to write, should I not appease it and start writing - even if nothing I write will draw an impact or make sense? I'm positively affirmative that I will be better at it in the long haul if I write, consistently and religiously. And you know what? That's what I'm going to do, or at least try to do it. I'll keep up with writing this blog of mine. It will be the evidence of my progress. I will show up.

And YOU, you reading this right now: if there is something your heart wants to be, start showing up. Or  'put your ass where your heart wants to be'. It's what you should do for yourself, it's what everyone should do.

P/S: I'm writing this on my iPad so I have absolutely no clue how to link the blog, but I will do that in due time when I get on my lappy.

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