Wednesday, September 26, 2012

We found love in a hopeless place

Listening to this song on repeat and having surges of emotions take over me entirely because it is one of those nights I feel absolutely awful about myself.

I feel so...unloved. Cursor, blink, blink, blink. I am probably wrong because I know there are people who love me for me and for instance, my parents, but it's just the way I feel - the way I feel that I do not deserve love. I feel it in the hollows of my chest, I feel it in the marrow of my bones, I feel it to the point where I actually believe it.

What is it about me that is not worth fighting for, to heck with fighting for, what is it about me that is not worth staying for? Everyone I ever loved, left. The people I laid my heart on the line for, did they just decided I was not worth loving so they stomped on my most prized possession - my heart - and scattered the shards in the wind? I am on my knees, begging for someone to love me. I am so convinced that nobody can love me and I am not better than anyone because everyone and I mean, everyone is so much more worth loving than me. People have often proved so to me.

It is not like I do not try to keep people in my life because I do and I fight for them, but for some peculiar reason, they just do not see how much they really mean to me. They do not see the pieces of me that I have given them, and they walk away with the pieces of me. I get smaller each time a piece of me goes missing and soon enough, I am going to be nothing, but a shadow.

No, it is not a pity story and I certainly don't need anyone's sympathy. I just need my very own asylum and this, here, is my sanctuary of thoughts and unspoken words.


  1. reading this post with the song playing is just.. D:

    must say that this post practically speaks everything I feel but never had the guts to write out. :( haha I guess all of us feel this way at some point in our lives. but I know some day you will find that someone who will make you believe again. haha. don't worry <3

  2. It's a good song, right? I love it. :) Thank you, I have faith that you would too. <3